Posts by Satans little helper

21

Now Im PISSED off

by Es in

jw
friends

for those who read my topic the other day bout the old jw friend who texted me.

well i received the package today with a little note congragulating me on my wedding and pregnancy.. anyway down the bottom is a ps...spoke to your mum the other day she misses blake alot.......... now i have never stopped them from seeing blake nor speaking to him, and now they are telling people in the congregation things like that..... im so angry that they are playing the vicitm card here.

es

Satans little helper

Es, I am sorry you are hurt, I really know how you are feeling. I was DF'd in '91 and after many years of being shunned by my father we started talking occassionally, mainly when he wanted someone to fix his computer (I'm in IT). After a year or two of a phone call once a month or so I got engaged; now I thought that because I was doing the right thing as he would see it that he would be happy to come to the wedding, he had also told me when I was DF'd that he would still come to my wedding and nothing would stop him from doing that. You know where this is going don't you....... I got a phone call a couple of weeks later to tell me that it would disturb his conscience to come to my wedding, and would look bad in the congregation. He was an elder at the time and how the congregation viewed him was the only thing that ever mattered to him, despite the fact that his children despised him for his cruelty. He didn't come to the wedding and to be honest he wasn't missed; I have a wondeful wife who my father has met once and that was just to say farewell before we emigrated. I doubt I will ever see him again, even when we have kids and he becomes a grandfather; I am still very angry and very sad about the way he has treated me but I have to work my way through it. One of the ways is to be here, I have not been on here for a year or so but now I have made it to a stage in the healing process where I think I can gain alot by talking to people here, and hopefully my perspective and experiences can help others realise that they are not alone and not the only ones feeling hurt. What goes around comes around, my sister DA'd herself a couple of years ago and wrote a long letter about my father's cruelty to the body of elders. They removed him as an elder which must have come as a blow to someone who set so much store in his station in the congregation. You parents sound like they do not know how to deal with the pain they are feeling, being a JW conditions you to be so hard hearted that that you can cut off even your own blood. I hope you can look at your husband and Blake and focus on the wonderful things you have in your life. Don't give your parents the power to keep hurting you, I know that sounds trite but your being angry is only hurting you and not them. Keep smiling Steve

41

What kind of house would you like to have?

by averyniceguy in

jw
friends

i would like to have a very big and very nice hot whirlpool tub inside the house.

what kind of house would you like to have?

Satans little helper

we moved to Perth from the UK because it meant that we could have more chance of our dream home, we have a spa out the back which is the greatest way to snuggle up under the stars watching the steam rise. Our place isn't perfect but we love it and it will be a good place to raise a family and has enough space for us to spread out a little and grow.

So there's the answer to your dreams - move to Australia!

44

Is There Any JW Belief That You Still Believe In?

by minimus in

jw
friends

would you have any qualms about taking blood??

do you believe in a paradise earth?

do you think there is only one "truth"?

Satans little helper

I don't believe in hellfire, I do believe in life after death, I don't believe that god is as petulent as the bible makes him out to be, I don't believe in Armagheddon, I give blood and would accept a transfusion, I don't believe in shunning - it's absolutely at odds with everything that the bible was trying to teach.

I certainly don't believe that the WTBTS is in any way inspired!

15

Dealing with guilt and your own self perception

by Satans little helper in

being a witness leads you to believe that if you are less than perfect then you are detached from god's love and are unworthy.

it's a very black and white thing - either you are getting through armagheddon and keep to all of the rules, or you are not keeping to all of the rules and are going to die.

personally i think that is one of the jw faith's greatest strengths and also it's greatest weakness - a strength in that it leaves adherents unable to question their beliefs lest they anger god enough to condemn them, and a weakness in that as soon as you discard one stone in the wall then you are forced to reject the whole structure as you feel damned anyway.. .

Satans little helper

thanks for the kind words everyone.

Rachel - Hi, it's been a while, I hope you and yours are well.

Essie, I have got a copy of Toxic Parents on the shelf behind me, I bought it to give to my kid sister before we left the UK but it got packed and I am yet to open the cover. Did therapy really help? I have thought about seeing someone for several years, I was brought up to be emotionally stunted and to believe that hitting people got them to do what you wanted. I guess I have some unresolved baggage that I want to take care of before the kids come along so that I don't make the same mistakes (I want to make a whole load of my own original mistakes, lol)

I had a breakthrough this week, I prayed for the first time in years and it was a great comfort. Now I prayed in the same way I had when I was a JW, even using the name Jehovah but making the prayer sincere but conversational in nature. I know that god in whatever form he takes can hear the intent of my prayer regardless of the format or the context. I feel that it is unlikely that I will ever follow a Christian path ever again because of what I see as the controlling and factually inaccurate elements of this but I am drawn to Paganism, Buddhism and nature in general, perhaps I should worship Poseidon as my god because I feel at my most tranquil when I am beside the sea. I am yet to work out where my spiritual path lies but at least now I can accept that I believe in god in some form without feeling like there is an axe hanging over my head

Steve

15

Dealing with guilt and your own self perception

by Satans little helper in

being a witness leads you to believe that if you are less than perfect then you are detached from god's love and are unworthy.

it's a very black and white thing - either you are getting through armagheddon and keep to all of the rules, or you are not keeping to all of the rules and are going to die.

personally i think that is one of the jw faith's greatest strengths and also it's greatest weakness - a strength in that it leaves adherents unable to question their beliefs lest they anger god enough to condemn them, and a weakness in that as soon as you discard one stone in the wall then you are forced to reject the whole structure as you feel damned anyway.. .

Satans little helper

Essie, one of the things that has brought this all home to me now is that we want to have a baby and start a family. I don't want to make the same mistakes as my parents and give my kids the same feelings of inadequacy, guilt and trauma as I went through. You are right, part of growing up properly is learning to fill in the gaps, I don't think that growing up as a witness prepares you very well for life in the wider world or equips you to be emotionally mature. It's a journey, one that I am very fortunate to have a wonderful wife to share with, albeit a wife who doesn't always quite understand the hangups caused by a JW upbringing.

Linda, I was not knocking this site in any way, it helped me a great deal when I was at a phase when I needed to be angry at the organisation. I made some good friends here including someone who has become one of my closest real life friends, this is a fantastic resource for meeting people at all different stagtes in the healing process. For me I felt that I needed some time away from here to be able to continue the healing process without fueling my anger further

Steve

25

Would you change the way you left if you could?

by Gadget in

jw
friends

if you were put in a similar position to when you left the jws, would you choose to leave in a particular way because of your experiences?

if you had nothing to loose from family etc, would you be tempted to leave with a bang, or to get some sort of revenge on those who shun you?

Satans little helper

What I would give to do some large parts of my life all over again from scratch!

Ditto, although I really think that things happen for a reason and have often thought that if I had done things different then I would not have met my wife. I had planned to leave the UK and move to Canada back in 2001 but just as I went out there on a holiday to investigate job opportunities I met my other half, we hit it off and she persuaded me to move to Oz. There are some outcomes I would like to change but I'm not sure that changing things that I have done in the past would bring benefit - some of my biggest cock ups have led to other good things happening.

15

Dealing with guilt and your own self perception

by Satans little helper in

being a witness leads you to believe that if you are less than perfect then you are detached from god's love and are unworthy.

it's a very black and white thing - either you are getting through armagheddon and keep to all of the rules, or you are not keeping to all of the rules and are going to die.

personally i think that is one of the jw faith's greatest strengths and also it's greatest weakness - a strength in that it leaves adherents unable to question their beliefs lest they anger god enough to condemn them, and a weakness in that as soon as you discard one stone in the wall then you are forced to reject the whole structure as you feel damned anyway.. .

Satans little helper

Being a witness leads you to believe that if you are less than perfect then you are detached from god's love and are unworthy. It's a very black and white thing - either you are getting through Armagheddon and keep to all of the rules, or you are not keeping to all of the rules and are going to die. Personally I think that is one of the JW faith's greatest strengths and also it's greatest weakness - a strength in that it leaves adherents unable to question their beliefs lest they anger god enough to condemn them, and a weakness in that as soon as you discard one stone in the wall then you are forced to reject the whole structure as you feel damned anyway.

I spent many years after my disfellowshipping deconstructing and rejecting all that I was taught as a JW, in fact I rejected my whole belief structure without having anything to replace it; for a long time I had nothing to believe in anymore and felt lost. The only thing I had left was a deep sense of guilt about anything I did which was less than perfect and this greatly affected my self worth. At certain times in my life this has been more of an issue than others and has led to me doing things that have been quite self destructive through feeling that I cannot achieve forgiveness for small indisgretions so why control any indisgretions? It also left me in limbo - I couldn't believe in god because if I did then I had to believe that I was damned to die at Armagheddon.

Something happened recently that left me feeling very low, with a sickened knot in my stomach for days and a racking bout of self loathing. Whilst in a used book store I came across a title by a liberal rabbi which has opened a door into my soul which has helped me start to rebuild a belief in god free from the self conscious guilt that comes from the apocolyptic teachings of the JW's. The book is "How Good Do We Have To Be" by Harold S Kushner and it basically rubbishes any apocolyptic guilt trip religious teaching by pointing out that if god were as great as he is made out to be then would he really be as petty to damn you for a few minor glitches. I haven't been on here for a long time as I wanted to stop feeling like a victim of the cult and I feel that continually dwelling on the flaws of the JW's can hold you back from getting on with your life, but I wanted to share this to help anyone feeling the same guilt issues that I have been having a hard time with.

58

UK "shoot to kill" - mixed up justice

by Simon in

how stupid is this .... the police execute an innocent man going about his lawful business ... no charges.

someone exposes the information showing the police lied and covered up facts about the killing ... arrest her !!.

what a pathetic excuse for a justice system we have.. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4280238.stm.

Satans little helper

the guy DID run, not only did he run but he ran onto the underground. That's the underground, the same underground that some group of shit heads blew up a few days before.

He ran because his visa was invalid, rather than following the clear instructions of the police officer to lay down with his hands behind his head; do I think he was foolish? damn right, do I think he deserved what happened? of course not, his life is of as much value as any other regardless of his actions.

I think the police reaction was way over the top but clearly understandable given the circumstances. The police were watching the house where he was staying, not knowing that it was subdivided, thinking that he was linked to the bombers in the same building. Had he not ran onto the underground and given the impression of being a threat to the public then he wouldn't have been shot in the head

It is very easy to second guess the security agencies but they are working with very limited information against a well organised and financed group of people. The fact that the second group managed to get into position and were only foiled by duff explosives shows the pressure that the police were under to do SOMETHING to avoid a further attack and reassure the public.

The arrests of the guys who carried out the failed attacks without s single shot being fired shows that lessons were learnt from the Menezes mistake

58

UK "shoot to kill" - mixed up justice

by Simon in

how stupid is this .... the police execute an innocent man going about his lawful business ... no charges.

someone exposes the information showing the police lied and covered up facts about the killing ... arrest her !!.

what a pathetic excuse for a justice system we have.. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4280238.stm.

Satans little helper

The Menezes killing was a ,istake but no big deal,if the guy hadn't run then he wouldn't have got shot. What sort of idiot runs onto the underground when challenged by armed police just days after a terrorist bombing? If I were an armed police officer I would have shot first rather than risk the chance of another bomb on the underground.

Hindsight is 20:20 and I am damn sure you would be bitching alot harder if the guy had been one of the second wave of would be bombers and he had been successful in killing more innocents.

36

Discipline or Child Abuse?

by Dimples in

i remember spanking my son when we used to attend meetings and conventions because he cried and just wouln't sit still.

i was told that he had to be disciplined so he would learn to behave and learn what was being said from the platform.

now that i look back i realize that that was child abuse and i feel so horrible about it.do you feel guilty for spanking your kids during meetings and conventions?

Satans little helper

smacking IS wrong but it's not the end of the world. When you smack your kid all you are doing is telling them that violence is a coping strategy when someone is doing something that you dislike, take that forward 15 years and you have a kid who deals with difficult situations with force rather than by using intelligence.

To be honest a little smack isn't going to cause any long term harm but if you explain why you are unhappy with what they are doing and use a timeout process then you are teaching the kid to manage their situations without resorting to violence

You obviously love your child, don't feel guilty